Bush hedges (his bets).

To this point, President Bush has not given even the slightest hint that he is feeling any pressure from the Karl Rove/Valerie Plame/Robert Novak/Lewis Libby/Tiger Woods CIA leak investigation.

But all that changed late Saturday night.

From The Catchpenny newsroom:

President Bush fires Archibald Cox

In the first major sign- other than the comically evasive press briefings of Scott "Stonewall" McClellan- that the White House is feeling some heat from the investigation into the outing of CIA operative Valerie Plame, President George W. Bush Saturday fired Special Prosecutor Archibald Cox.

"Special Prosecutor Cox will be relieved of his duties effective immediately," Bush said, "and replaced by a close acquaintance of mine; let's just call her 'Laura B.' I am confident that she will do a superb job."

"Hey, check it out," Bush added. "I'm bangin' the Special Prosecutor!"

The President's critics- whose numbers are growing with each passing second, each dead American soldier, each mispronunciation of the words "nuclear," "terror," and "cat"- allege that this maneuver is yet another of Bush's gross abuses of power. Unfortunately, we could not get a quote from such a critic, as doing so would violate The Catchpenny's strict policy against interviewing dirty hippies. (Actually, we're just lazy.)

Supporters of Cox's termination, meanwhile, maintain the Gordon Sumner-eqsue argument that every little thing Bush does is magic.

"We love George W. Bush!" exclaimed Whitey "Cotton" Paleskin, a senior at Grove City College and member of the Young Republican National Federation. "In fact, we love him so much that we would gladly die for him! Just, you know, not right now, and not in the next few years; really, not anytime for the next six or seven decades. But we would die for him. You can't expect us to die right now, of course; we're fighting the battle for ideas. The pen is mightier than the sword, after all; especially if that pen has the Ink of Freedom flowing through it.

"Seriously, please don't ask us to die."

Speaking from his magical ranch where lies are the Splenda to truth's sugar and God don't make no gays, ever, Bush continued: "This is an important step in ensuring the rights of all of our citizens. And 'all of our citizens,' of course, means anyone I want it to mean. Are you one of my 'citizens'? You might be surprised. It's a game I like to play with the 'merican people. You know; do ya have any rights or don't ya?"

"I'm just yankin' ya, America," Bush added. "You're all gonna die."

The Catchpenny attempted to reach the deposed Cox for comment, but he died in 2004. We'll probably go to Target today and pick up a Ouija board, but don't hold your breath.