"The Specious Inquisition" for 9/3/05

Hey champs. For all of the long hours spent by us here at your Catchpenny brainstorming new story ideas, debating journalistic standards as they relate to our humble publication, and eating Cheetos and wiping the orange crumbs on the arm of the break room sofa, it is not frequent- you might even call it "infrequent"- that a new idea comes along that leaves all of us in the office with heads bowed in hushed awe.

But this new feature is... okay, this isn't one of those spectacular ideas, either. Come to think of it, we've never had an idea like that. In fact, most of what I just wrote is incorrect. We do not do much brainstorming, and we wouldn't know journalistic standards if they kicked us in the 'nads; which actually puts us in pretty good company in the mainstream media nowadays.

Also, we don't eat Cheetos, a fact which makes the presence of orange crumbs on our break room sofa baffling to the point of being disconcerting.

But without further ado, here's the idea...

Your intrepid Catchpenny staff loves people. A lot. We are attached to our common man in much the same way as a growing pile of restraining orders is attached to my desk. So, instead of attempting to begin interviews with people that only ever end with one of our reporters asking the interviewee out on a date, we decided that we would simply take a quick poll every now and again, for the purposes of both gauging the pulse of public opinion and hearing the sounds of our own respective voices, with which each of us is madly in love.

The responses to each of our inquiries will be posted here on your 'Penny as each survey is completed.

So enjoy! It's the inaugural "Specious Inquisition," for September 3, 2005: