It's Pat!

As you probably know by now unless you've been hiding with Natalee Holloway for the last 24 hours or have a social life, Christian Coalition founder and 700 Club host Pat Robertson Monday called for the assassination of Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez. Here is the juicy part:

You know, I don't know about this doctrine of assassination, but if he thinks we're trying to assassinate him, I think that we really ought to go ahead and do it. It's a whole lot cheaper than starting a war. And I don't think any oil shipments will stop. But this man is a terrific danger and the United ... This is in our sphere of influence, so we can't let this happen. We have the Monroe Doctrine, we have other doctrines that we have announced. And without question, this is a dangerous enemy to our south, controlling a huge pool of oil, that could hurt us very badly. We have the ability to take him out, and I think the time has come that we exercise that ability. We don't need another $200 billion war to get rid of one, you know, strong-arm dictator. It's a whole lot easier to have some of the covert operatives do the job and then get it over with.

On its surface, Robertson's statement was stupid and ludicrous; or, as former Senate Majority Leader Bob "Bob Dole" Dole called it Tuesday, "stupid" and "ludicrous."

But let's look a little deeper. Before we passed final judgment on Robertson's suggestion that the United States should actively seek to assassinate a world leader who was democratically elected (even if he's not exactly Captain Sunshine Happy Pants), we at The Catchpenny decided to review some other proposals made by Robertson over the years, to see how they worked out.

Here is a sampling of the wisdom of Pat Robertson:

• "Ladies and gentlemen, I call it 'New Coke.'" (May 1985)

• "Hey, let's have O.J. try on the gloves." (June 1995)

• "Major General Pickett, you must lead this charge." (July 1863)

• "Bill, Monica. Monica, Bill." (November 1995)

• "Are you kidding? This ship is unsinkable; we don't need all these lifeboats!" (April 1912)

• "I know just where the president should visit! Dallas!" (June 1963)

• "Helium? Helium is for pussies. This is the Hindenburg! Hydrogen is the way to go." (December 1935)

• "Abe, I'm telling you, 'Our American Cousin' is a delightful romp. You and Mary Todd will love it." (April 1865)

• "Ladies and gentlemen, I call it 'The XFL.'" (January 2000)

• "There are two people in this world who absolutely must be given their own late-night talk shows, and their names are Chevy Chase and Magic Johnson." (February 1993)

Never mind.